BUSINESS ABOVE THE FOLD
Wall Street Ends Higher Despite Looming Shutdown
Stocks closed in the green even as Washington flirted with another government shutdown. Guess the markets figured worrying is a Monday problem.
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Consumer Confidence Keeps Slipping
Americans are less sure about business and job prospects heading into fall — apparently even the economy’s feeling seasonal depression.
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Tariffs Could Cost Small Businesses $85 Billion
A new study shows mom-and-pop shops will eat most of the tariff bill, proving once again that big policy hits small wallets.
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Shutdown Means No Jobs Report — or Economic Data at All
With the federal government closed, key reports on jobs, inflation, and consumer trends will be delayed. Flying blind just got a whole new meaning.
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Tech and Retail Lead as Markets Shrug Off Risks
Retailers and tech names pushed the markets higher again, even as risks stack up. It’s like turning up the volume when the check-engine light comes on.
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FULL (OR FULLER) MULLET
Have mercy! Uncle Jessie rockin’ that λασπωτήρας (Greek for mudflap).
PARTY BELOW THE FOLD
Paul McCartney Announces “Got Back” Tour at 83
At 83, Paul McCartney’s still taking the long way home — announcing another round of North American dates this fall. Apparently retirement isn’t in the Beatles’ vocabulary.
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Rock + Metal Tour Explosion: Fall 2025
Ghost, Nine Inch Nails, and a dozen more acts dropped fall tour dates this week. Hope your PTO and hearing survive.
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The Mullet Times — Because You Can Read The Wall Street Journal… But You Won’t.